Thursday, October 16, 2008

Top 10 ways for NFL to increase its profits

The NFL is considering adding not one but two games to its schedule. And you know what it's all about, right? Money.

Let's just cut to the chase. Here are the top 10 ways the NFL can raise its profits.

1. Buy printing press so NFL can just print its own money.
2. Broadcasts are still free, but last two minutes of each game will be pay-per-view. Have fans insert more quarters if game goes into overtime.
3. Forget about drafting over two days. Each round of the draft gets one evening in prime-time on ESPN and NFL Network. Would drag out coverage and would be a ratings winner.
4. Layoff one player per team. Hey, if this tactic is good enough to be used against us folks in the real world, why shouldn't players face the same music.
5. Have reality TV show where fans try to land coaching job. Another show where fans tryout for the St. Louis Rams. Another show where women tryout for cheerleader of Dallas Cowboys. Trump-like Apprentice show where fans battle for job in a team's front office. People love this reality crap.
6. It's this simple: Raise prices on everything related to league.
7. Why give ABC its best players? NFL needs to start it's own "Dancing with the Stars."
8. Have players' wives and girlfriends host bake sales before each home game. All profits are split 50-50 with home and road team.
9. Speaking of 50-50, how about 50-50 raffles at each game? If it's good enough for high school football games, it's good enough for the NFL.
10. Charge fans for having a favorite team. Charge extra if favorite team is Dallas Cowboys.

1 comment:

rstiles said...

I love the idea of the 50-50 raffle....Seriously!!!